random thoughts at 2am

its almost two in the morning and I can't sleep. So many things running through my mind.
i'm halfway through my time here and as i look back i realize that i've grown a ton. God is amazing!

language is a huge part of why i'm here and i rejoice in the big and small successes that i have. but...i'm not just here to learn a culture and language...i'm here because my God called me to seek a deeper relationship with him. you know, as a "missionary" or whatever it is you want to call me :), you'd think that i would have this part of my journey down-pat...haha...far from it. i have spent three agonizing days feeling alone and depressed, and though the thought kept coming that i should spend some time with the Lord...i kept on going without stopping to sit at the feet of my Lord. today i went to church, i didn't understand any of the sermon, and i knew only a handfull of songs...but the holy spirit seemed to refresh my spirit somehow making me realize how important it is to spend time with my Lord...especially in this place where i need him more than ever.

nothing is ever easy in a foreign country.just when you think you've understood something...you realize that you really didn't. one day you can wash your clothes no problem and the next all the washing machines on campus are not working. one day the food is really good and the next, though you eat everything on your plate, you're left wanting. time is something i thought i understood, and then realized recently that i really don't understand it here. i rush to get ready to go and come to find that i still have a half hour to an hour to get ready(or wait if i'm already prepared to go)...or at times when i think i have a good amount of time...i really don't. relationships are also funny things...if you think having a guy girl relationship in the states is hard, try communicating to a guy friend here that you aren't interested in being anything more than friends...with limited spanish...lets just say he still doesn't get it :p

four months ago i had to have just about everything translated for me...now i can follow the main idea of conversations - depending on the topic and of course how fast they talk. four months ago i started learning songs in spanish...i loved singing them, but really didn't understand the full content...today at church i sang a song and suddenly the light went on! i knew exactly what the words were saying (well...at least in the first part and most of the second). i now have words that i can use to speak too...and i'm getting more and more confident in speaking. God is amazing!

here is the song i learned:

Cantaré de Tu Amor

Por mucho tiempo busque
una razón de vivir (I spent a lot of time looking for a reason for living)
en medio de mil preguntas
tu amor me respondio (In the midst of my thousands of questions, your love responded)
y ahora veo la luz (and now I see the light)
y ya no tengo temor (and I no longer have fear)
tu reino vino a mi vida (you reign in my life)
y ahora vivo para ti (and now I live for you)

Cantaré de tu amor (I sing of your love)
Rendiré mi corazón ante ti (I surrender my heart before you)
Tú serás mi pasión (You will be my passion)
y mi pasos me guiran hasta Tí (and you will guide my steps)
mi Jesús y mi Rey (my Jesus and my King)
de tu gran amore cantaré (your great love I sing)

I share this song because suddenly its meant a lot to me...it speaks of where I've been and where I'm going and why. It has little to do with adventures or new interesting places, but more to do with a life passionately following after the love that found me...and feeling a need to share it wherever I go.

anyway just some random thoughts at 2am ... maybe they make sense maybe they don't...soon I will be moving in with an argentine family...i think i'll have a lot more things to write about :) goodnight..or should i say..goodmorning?

*click*

brr its cold! The oritorio on a cold fall morning.

Roommates!

the students
(back rowL-R: Freddy (Peru), me, Paulina (El Salvador), Veronica (Argentina), Juan Nestor (Peru), front row L-R: Lander, Willy, Douglas (Bolivia) )











Empanadas with a Bolivian family that live next door to our campus