Language Learning

March 2, 2010

Yesterday I began my journey of language learning. Today I cried. I know that language learning is difficult, but I think with the added stress of not knowing which room I will be sleeping in, and the fact I've been living in a suitcase for over almost two months now, and knowing that my mom is leaving tomorrow, among many other adjustments, I've felt quite overwhelmed. The weather today is rather stormy, it kinda reminds me of my mood. I have a hard time when it comes to not fitting in, and not having the language to speak really makes it hard to "fit in".

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the language learning, it's a fascinating process and I enjoy learning new things. But, imagine you are sitting in a classroom where they are talking about things you know, but you have your hands over your ears and all you hear is muffled noises. Your brain knows it should understand what they are saying, but struggles to grasp any meaning. Occasionally, through the help of someone uncovering your ear (just for a moment), you briefly have a moment of understanding. That is how I have felt the last two days. The students are taking an Anthropology class (a course I thoroughly enjoy and know from both my studies at Multnomah and through the Gateway Missionary Training center in Canada), but it is all in Spanish with brief translations from my patient friend Heather J. I have suddenly found myself as an outsider, unable to do anything but talk about plates and spoons and knives.

Language learning is pretty humbling to say the least. I have been moved to the place of a child, though I can grasp many concepts, my functioning language is pretty minimal. So begins my year-long journey. I know for sure things will begin to feel better once I have a few more words to work with, and I am finally living in the same house as the rest of the students of the CCMT (Cross Cultural Missionary Training) where I will learn language just by doing daily tasks with them. All I keep thinking is that Christ came down as a child and it took at least 12 years before he was recognized, and then it was another 20 years before his ministry really took off…so really I'm doing pretty well J. I am definitely learning patience in a new way.

Oh, by the way, if you ever use Spanish be sure you remember that Vaso (pronounced Baso) is glass and Beso is kiss….its pretty embarrassing when you ask for a kiss rather than a glass, especially in a houseful of guys. Just be aware J.

Salmos 37:4-5

Deléitate en el Señor

Y el te concederá los deseos de tu Corazón.

Encomienda al Señor tu camino,

Confía en el, en el actuara

Rain…Rain…Rain…

So I thought I left the rain in Portland…but apparently it decided to follow me to Argentina. Over the last three days we've had some pretty extreme downpours. It was nice at first because the days were incredibly hot (well, mid-to-upper 90s) and the thunderstorm that came was awesome, to say the least. Yesterday was okay, overcast and drizzly, but then early this morning (probably around one or two in the morning) the rain started coming down in buckets and didn't let down until around 8am. Now, don't get me wrong, I have always loved the rain…but I also enjoy the sunshine. Maybe I'll be eating my words once the heat returns, but I do miss seeing the sun.

Beyond the rain things are going pretty smoothly. We just started our first day of the English immersion course and will be placing students into tutor groups by the end of today. The students are all very nervous, and I think overwhelmed. I sympathize, its no easy task to speak another language. But I am confident that by the end of the week they will have gotten a little more comfortable with us (and we with them) and we'll be having a hard time not hanging out until late hours into the night J. I look forward to getting to know each person here and observe how they grow in their language learning.

Now, for myself, I am getting excited and extremely nervous for the time where I will be immersing myself in Spanish … intimidating to say the least. Maybe it's a little strange, but there are many nights where I go to sleep saying Spanish phrases or words in my head, trying to get it stuck in there J. We'll see how well I do as I jump head first into the ocean of language learning in two weeks. I am confident that this is where God wants me, and I am confident those he puts in my life while I'm here are going to be a perfect part of His plan – I just need to take hold of the courage God has for me, and to remember that He has me in a tight hold within His hands. What a blessing to know I am not alone on this journey!

Hopefully soon I will have pictures to post, until then, imagine a little cottage-like home with a porch that looks out into a backyard with trees and a clothes line. The birds are singing, and in one of the eaves of the porch there is a turtle dove sitting on its eggs. It's a nice setting, even with the wet and muddy ground and cloudy skies.

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is never easy...and I for one have never been good at them. My mom always reminds me of how I used to be, when I was little. I'd play at my friends houses and have so much fun I'd cry when it was time to go (even if I knew that I was just going to see them the next day or even the next week). So it is no surprise that as I say my goodbyes to different parts of my life here in Portland I tear up, knowing that I'll see everyone again, yet feeling like a part of my world is crashing down.

Sunday Anna, Cristina and I, all roommates for a total of three years together, said our goodbyes as Anna and I moved our things over to our parents house and Cris finished out the long week of packing for her new destination. Monday I said goodbye to working for my dad in his office. Wednesday I said goodbye to my Coffee's On coworkers as I completed my final closing shift. Soon I will be saying goodbye to my dear friends and family, my church family, my comforts, my space, and the normal day to day, to say hello to a new and relatively unknown world (to me) in Argentina.

So, as I let go of yesterday and today, I take a deep breath and journey into the future; and I excitedly anticipate the new friends and experiences awaiting me. And I promise you that I will cry when I leave there too, its just who I am :).

Until tomorrow...

Reflections

Sorry this took me so long to post...balancing packing, work, and all the details that come with moving has proven to be quite the challenge!
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Amazing how a decade can go by so fast! As I sit here celebrating the coming of a new year, I can't help but think back on where I have been and how the last ten years has shaped the person I am today.

In the last decade I've worked several different type of jobs (retail sales associate, babysitter, secretary, librarian, Inside Sales Associate, custodian, and teacher's assistant). I have also traveled to a few places in the world (England, Germany, Canada, Thailand, Argentina), and have seen the Lord move me from one direction to another. In 2000 I thought for sure that I wanted to be a school teacher and to work with young children. By 2003 I was thinking that I wanted to be a teacher but not in a school, maybe a teacher of English as a second language. I also wanted to be a mentor to young girls, maybe college age. These ideas built until, in the recent couple of years my desire is to work with international adults or young adults in teaching English as a second language...with a deepened desire to mentor young women as they face the challenges of life.

This last decade has had some real highs and some real lows. I remember those who I've lost this decade: god-mother in 1999 to cancer, grandpa Don, Ellen Swope, David Weisenburg, grandpa Lou, and most recently our family dog who was a real part of the family. There were many tragedies in the world too during this year (specifically 9/11, among many many others).

Along with the lows are some real high points. I had my first international traveling experience, my first boyfriend, I started and finished my college degree, I have gained many wonderful friends, I participated in my little sister's wedding, I've traveled three times to Argentina, I moved out on my own, among many many other high points in the decade.

Through all of these moments God has been directing me and walking with me, guiding me to where I am today. One of the biggest shifts in my life was in 2003 when I decided to go to the Gateway Missionary Training Center in Canada. I didn't know where I wanted to go, but I felt the Lord directing me towards missions. It was at this training center that I gained the tools to be more effective in ministry, to see other cultures through His eyes, and to love them. It wasn't an easy process. I wrestled with the Lord over many things, even where I was planning to go for my three month internship overseas. But inhis love and grace I went to Thailand. I learned so much about myself, not to mention the Thai culture. During this stretching time I felt it was important that I study the Word more and to get training as an ESL teacher (since I'd really found that this was something I could do well).

Within a month of my return from this Missionary training program, I applied, was accepted, and began classes at Multnomah Bible college (now Multnomah University). I planned to stay a year, but the Lord had other plans :). Five years later (after taking one year to go to Community College), I finished a degree in Intercultural Studies and TESOL (teaching English as a Second Language). But more than a degree, I had gained confidence in myself, in the Lord's faithfulness, and I'd gained many wonderful godly friends who I have found to be of great support as I move into this new phase of my life.

It is amazing to see how when we take steps, God directs us into such amazing journeys. It isn't all pleasant, but it is always a journey of growing deeper in our understanding of God's amazing love for us. I am so looking forward to what this next year, and this next decade will hold!

Five loaves and two fish

Over and over again today the Lord keeps putting on my mind the story of the little boy who offered his five loaves and two fish to Jesus. If you know the story Jesus was being followed by a huge crowd of people, eager to hear him speak and to be healed. It was sometime in the day when it was time to eat and He called his disciples to him and asked them where they could get food for these people so they could eat. The disciples responded (as I probably would) there is no way that we could find a place out here that could possibly feed this many people (approx. 5,000 men - not including women and children). Somehow in that conversation they found that there was a boy who had a small lunch with him (apparently his mom planned well :) consisting of five loaves and two small fish. It was offered to Jesus, probably more in sarcasm than with the idea the He could actually use it. Jesus took the bread and prayed over it, blessing it. Then He broke the bread and started handing out the food to the people...and it multiplied, giving everyone enough to eat, with leftovers!

I would've loved to have been there during that time! I'm sure it would've been a humbling experience, as it is now...for how often do I doubt God? How often do I look at what I have and think that he couldn't possibly use this measly bit of gifting or skill, or this broken person with all this baggage for his purposes. Sarcasticly I look to Him and say "well, here I am Lord....this is all I've got, do what you can with it".

Here I am stepping off into an unknown, nervous and scared as all get out...and the Lord reminds me that he can take anything that I have to offer and multiply it in order to fulfill His purposes. wow! You know this faith walk is certainly more difficult than I thought it was going to be...(and I've just barely started!) but God continues to encourage me through stories/accounts like this. I'm no giant of faith....but somehow God is able to use me anyway. How awesome is that? What a gracious God we serve.