The Lord gave me a beautiful day on Monday. I spent a couple of hours soaking in the sun, reading the book of John, listening to worship music, and praying. I felt so encouraged and rested! It was beautiful.
In the midst of this rest, the Lord prompted me that the week was going to be difficult. I wasn't really sure what that meant, though I kind of thought it might have something to do with relationships on the team...and I was right.
Beginning Monday night and into Tuesday the Holy Spirit started working. I didn't sleep much as I thought about some issues we were having as a team. I looked at what we were doing and felt strongly that something was missing. I didn't just come here to learn how to cook meals, or to work hard mowing lawns, or to take good classes...I came here to grow as a person and I felt that our team was doing well at all the things I listed, except really authenticaly living together (Col. 3:12-17). The Lord wouldn't let me think on anything else...and for two nights and a siesta in the afternoon I couldn't sleep. I knew what the Lord wanted me to do...and a part of me was fighting it...why me?....why me, the one with the language barrier, why do I have to speak? But again, he wouldn't let me go. So finally on Wednesday night I shared my heart with the students. It went very well...but it is only the beginning of what God is teaching me.
If I don't speak, if I don't share what I observe or feel, I am robbing the other person of my giftings...robbing them of the opportunity to grow....and vise versa, if I don't allow them to share with me then I am robbing myself of potential growth and blessing.
Its a hard lesson to learn...and its uncomfortable...but may the Lord be glorified as we continue to seek His higher purpose in our lives and work through our difficulties and our pain so that we might be able to experience growth and healing.
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